Dating Disasters

Let’s face it, dating can be nerve wracking. We’ve all had the date from hell. Looking back years later it’s easier to laugh. I know you’ve all been there even if you won’t admit it.

I’ll go first. When I was about 20 a friend dared me to try a computer date. Now remember, back in the dark ages when I was 20, we didn’t all have computers at home or in our pockets or on our wrists. Only big companies had computers. So I contacted one of the companies advertising computer dating. They sent me a multi page questionnaire to fill out and send back. The first part was about me and the second part was about what I was looking for in a date.

After a couple weeks I got the first response. A young man called and after a short chat we agreed to go out to dinner at the end of the week. When the big night came I nervously answered the door and realized that he had lied on his questionnaire. He was my age or younger. I had requested older. He was shorter than me and I’m only 5’4′. But it was just a date, right?

We walked out to the car and he told me it was his father’s car, that he had just gotten his license and wasn’t used to driving at night. My anxiety level was going up.

I chose a restaurant nearby, didn’t want to drive too far with this newbie. We were seated and after ordering I asked him about his job. On the phone he had told me he worked for the State. When I asked, he lit up. Seems he loved his job. Good sign!

Then it all went south. He worked for a State fishery. One of the major parts of his job was skimming the dead fish off the top of the various holding pens. Not only did he love his job, but he brought along lots of color photos he’d take of the dead fish floating.

I knew this date wasn’t going anywhere and after dinner I got a headache, must have been something I ate. He dropped me at home and I guess I didn’t impress him either because he never called again. The second and third computer choices called the next week but I blew them both off. Once was definitely enough computer dating for me.

The reason I bring up this ancient history is because a friend of ours just had the ‘date from hell’. Hoover showed up one night this week with a friend, a pretty little opossum about half his size. (Remember, we’re assuming sex and relationship of these animals) Hoover started eating at one end of the feeder and his friend started at the other end. When Hoover made the mistake of moving toward the center, the little one who we shall call The Shark, snarled and snapped at him. Big old lumpy Hoover backed off and sat pouting while The Shark finished all the food and then left.


The next night The Shark showed up early and alone but we hadn’t put out the good stuff yet so she wandered off.


Then we put out kibble for Hoover. When he finished we put out more for Rocket who waits for the opossums to leave before he shows up. The feeder was bare in the morning.

The Shark was definitely not the date that Hoover was expecting. Never mind, Hoover, it happens to all of us.

2 thoughts on “Dating Disasters

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